Why
by UCLAisinLosAngelesxo
Summary: But I do have one burning question. Who told you life wasn’t worth the fight... they were wrong." Angsty one-shot with implied B/J. Billy's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I've been having a long day… and I'm feeling kind of sad so I'm going to be posting two kind of angsty one-shots about J/B. They'll both be based on Rascal Flatts songs, so keep an eye out for the second one which will be coming soon. This one is based off of "Why", which is a song about suicide, and though its sad it's incredibly powerful. I would suggest listening!**

**I own nothing.**

Billy Black stared out the window of his quiet home. Snow gently dusted the ground, and the giggles of children locked in a snowball fight could be heard. He sighed gently to himself, the stillness and lifelessness of the house smothering him. Reminding him.

_**You must have been in a place so dark **_

_**You couldn't feel the light**_

_**Reaching for you through that stormy cloud **_

He sat there for hours, just staring at the backyard. He waited patiently for something he knew would never come. Yet still he waited, not fully committed to believing it yet. He would sit there forever if it meant that the pack would walk through that yard once more—coming to drop his son off for the night.

_**Now here we are gathered in our little hometown**_

_**This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd**_

Days passed, and the day was upon him. The elderly man reached down at about ten in the morning, set on getting to the funeral home.

Funeral home.

He felt his arms give out as the grief overwhelmed him, but he kept pushing at the wheels. He needed them to move… just move. He needed to feel some strength. He eventually let a strangled sob escape as he slammed at the wheels, knowing he'd never be able to move them alone.

And no one would walk into the room, asking him if he was ready to go, before taking the handles of the chair to push.

He collapsed, letting the tears overcome him.

And still, beyond the muffled cries, there was silence.

_**Oh why, that's what I keep asking **_

_**And was there anything I could have said or done**_

_**Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul **_

_**God only knows what went wrong **_

_**And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song**_

He blamed himself for not catching the symptoms sooner. The young boy never seemed to have the energy to do anything anymore. Beyond patrolling, he kept to himself and his room. Occasionally, in the middle of the night, Billy would wake up to hear quiet sobs coming from behind the door.

_He's a strong boy. It's just one girl in his life… he'll get past it. _

If only he had tried to help sooner.

_**Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a 17 year old**_

_**Rounding third to score the winning run**_

He still half-expected to hear the front door open. To be comforted by the shouts and laughter of the pack. No doubt having come from a recent game of football or baseball.

There would have been insults tossed around, maybe some bets being paid, but the smiles would shine brightly throughout the teasing.

One smile had always shined brightest of all.

_**You always played with passion no matter what the game**_

_**When you took the stage you shined just like the sun **_

Bella had once said it to him, when she thought that Billy wasn't listening.

_You're like my own personal sun._

_**Oh why that's what I keep asking **_

_**And was there anything I could have said or done**_

_**Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul **_

_**Oh God only knows what went wrong and why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song**_

Time passed. Life moved on. People were slowly but surely healing, and his name wasn't mentioned very often anymore.

Sometimes he wished he could return to the days after the funeral, when all you would hear was that name. It almost made Billy feel as if he was out there somewhere, still patrolling, or fixing a car, or making the world a brighter place.

Still living his life.

_**Now the oak trees a swaying in the early autumn breeze **_

_**The golden sun is shining on my face**_

_**Trough Tangled thoughts I hear a mocking bird sing **_

_**This old world really ain't that bad a place**_

Had half a year passed so quickly? The old man could hardly believe it, but there was the proof. The trees were starting to turn, the air was turning chilly. He felt a tug that he hadn't felt in over six months.

He wanted to visit his son.

_**Oh I there's no comprehending **_

_**And who am I to try judge or explain**_

_**But I do have one burning question **_

_**Who told you life wasn't worth the fight **_

_**They were wrong **_

_**They lied **_

He wheeled himself out the door, and all the way down the road to La Push's small cemetery. As he rolled along the gravel road leading to his tombstone, he felt quite small. He stopped in front of the familiar grave.

He smiled faintly, before addressing it.

"Hey there bud… it's been a while hasn't it? Thought you'd finally gotten rid of your old man?" He let out a shaky laugh. "Well I just thought I'd check in on you… make sure you were happy and such. Don't exactly know how I planned on checking, since you can't really tell me yourself… but I just wanted to see you."

His breath was getting shallower, as he tried not to let out the torrent of tears he felt coming forth.

"I-I miss you. There's no way around it. I miss waking up and knowing my son would be there to help me into my wheel chair. I miss your brightness… how it would light up anyone's day.

"I miss hearing you laughing in the other room with Sam and the gang. I still think that Bella will call one of these days, asking to talk to you so you guys could go hang out… God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say her name."

Bella. The name sounded bitter on his lips, yet he knew deep down, she would never stop being like his daughter.

Even if she had chosen the road to immortality.

Even if she had broken his son.

"You had," He coughed before correcting himself. "_have,_ a beautiful soul, Jake. I hope you know that. I hope that somewhere out there, there's someone telling you every day how special you are. Taking care of you when I can't.

"You're life will always be cherished, I know that much."

He let a lone tear escape his eye. "And I know that she regrets it. She loved you, boy. More then you could have imagined." This he knew for sure. He hoped that Jacob was listening, and smiling at that thought.

The thought of Jacob's bright grin brought more tears, but with the tears a smile.

He hadn't seen that smile in a while.

_**Now your gone and we cried**_

_**It's just not like you to walk away in the middle of a song **_

"I don't understand why you gave up. That's not who you were… who you _are. _I won't yell at you though. You made your choice, and I pray to God that you're satisfied with it." He shook his head.

It had finally hit him that Jacob Black was no longer part of this world. He would never speak to him again. Never see him light up the world around him. His boy was gone, and all that remained of him was buried six feet under the dirt Billy currently sat on.

The only thought that comforted him was that he just _knew_ Jake had made it to Heaven.

With that thought, he knew it was time to leave. The sun was setting, and Charlie would be over tonight to watch the game.

He rolled forward to place his hand on the tombstone, and spoke softly into the air.

"I love you so much, Jacob…Jake. So, so much. You'll always be my boy."

And as he turned to leave the cemetery, he swore that he caught the glimpse of a russet wolf on the outskirts of the cemetery, with the hint of a familiar grin on his face. Billy felt a smile cross his lips as the image faded, leaving nothing but trees.

Jacob Black would never be forgotten.

_**Your beautiful song **_

_**Your absolutely beautiful song**_


	2. New Name

Hey guys! I've changed my pen name to** UCLAisinLosAngelesxo** in light of my recent love for St. Berry in Glee.

Hope this causes no problems, and make sure to check out and spread the word to those who might be interested about my new challenge!

Much love,

UCLAisinLosAngelesxo


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